Things That Happen In Your Thirties # 12: You Wear Sensible Shoes - You trade your daily wear of pumps, heels and sexy shoes that kill your feet, for flats, boat shoes, & tennis...
Exhibit A: cute dress
Today, I have on a really cute dress, really cute! (see exhibit A), but as I was walking the rest of the way to work, I realized, my shoes didn't really bring out the sexy in the dress. Actually, I realized that this morning when I was getting ready to leave. Instead of reaching for my red classic pumps, I reached for red flats. I don't care, no one looks at my shoes at work!
Four years ago, I would have reached for the pumps!!!
Things That Happen In Your Thirties #41: Your Style Begins to Change
Whether you refine it, upgrade, or just change it altogether, you start
to dress differently. A friend & I were talking the other day, she
said she went from vintage to classic. Hmmm, still trying to see what I
went from, I still have a lot of pieces I can't bare to part with - and I
probably should. I have some pieces I never worn, and I have some
pieces that bring out my inner..... well here's a few below that are in
my closet:
I actually have this on today, with a black & white polka dot halter, black cardi, & black t-strap sandals.
Things That Happen in
Your Thirties #66: Less drunken bar hopping, more lounging
So this weekend was
pretty busy! Friday night I met up with friends & went to this free outdoor
R&B concert on the waterfront. It was cute. Mostly families with kids &
pets or lovers. I was with my girls of course. Afterwards we went for
late-night sushi & drinks. A low-key Friday. Saturday, I napped most of the
day, then had a gig later that night, & Sunday I went hiking for two hours,
then had a vegan brunch with the hiking crew (well, it’s just three of us,
three = crew in my head) then made it home for an afternoon nap. Finished the
day with True Blood & wine. Pattern much!!!
Weight loss update:
So I weighed myself
everyday & noticed that I gain on the days I drink. Friday I had at least
4.5 drinks. One on Saturday, and 1.5 on Sunday. so my goal this week, is to not
have any alcohol Monday-Thursday.....me without my red wine is like Snoop
without his Mary Jane :/
Anywho this morning’s
weight = 210 lbs (up 2 lbs from Friday morning)
PS I brought this really
cute outfit for my trip to Vegas in anticipation that I will lose 15 pounds by
Sept. 26!!!
Things That Happen In
Your Thirties #106: Random Bruising
Why is it, I always find
some random mark or bruise & I don’t know how I got it...like I’m not
falling out the bed when I’m sleeping. What gives?
Anywho, so update on the
weight loss goals. Yesterday I went home & had this diet smoothie thing for
my 3pm snack. My oh so awesome juicer arrived in mail from Amazon, so I juiced
for the first time in my life!!! It was the most exhilarating thing ever, next
to partying all night in Vegas with my BFF, traveling, shopping, and dropping
it like its hot on the dance floor! For Dinner I had baked chicken & mixed
grain rice. I didn’t eat any veggies, cause I juiced them!!! I did eat some of
the pulp for fiber. For my 9pm snack I had nuts & cheese. And believe it or
not, no night caps!!!
This morning I got on the
scale and it read 208 (down 3 pounds from the morning before! Praying it wasn’t
just water weight!!!)
Today So Far I had:
Breakfast (7:30a)
Breakfast Smoothie made
with pineapple & side of sausage
Snack (10:30a)
2.5oz mixed nuts
Lunch (12:30p)
Turkey breast cob Salad
from Pret with light dressing
Things that happen in
your thirties #3: Instant Weight Gain Overnight!
I love food!!! I like the
smell of it, the taste of it, the way it makes me feel on a cold day, a sad
day, a happy day, and just in general. My waistline proves it. So starting
today, I have to get serious about what I put in my mouth!!! Real Serious. I’m
215lbs in the afternoon (although I weighed in at 211 this morning, without
anything in my system of course!) I have about 80lbs of pure fat in my body. And
it’s time for me to drop 40 of them like a bad habit! My goal is to lose a
total of 40 pounds in the next 6 months, but to overall be healthy & to get
back in my oh so cute dresses!
So here’s day 1 of my
journey:
Breakfast (7:30a)
Fruit/yoghurt smoothie (I made it with 1/3 c frozen berries, 1 whole banana, plain non-fat yoghurt, splash vanilla soy, splash of Trader Joes Beet/Berry Juice & water)
1 hard boiled egg
Snack (10:00a)
This nasty ass diet
pudding
Lunch (12:30p)
3 oz grilled chicken
Cucumber, tomato, salad
with olives, feta, olive oil & apple cider vinegar
1 banana
(Oh & I cheated &
had 4 pieces of fried shrimp, not on the plan)
My 3pm Snack & Dinner
- To be determined!!!
I'll think about those before & after pics...don't want to scare you :)
So, I'm making moves...like literally. Since I have been done with school, I have been on Indeed.com everyday, looking for potential new gigs. This week I responded to an ad for a creative blogger/writer for a new dining blog. It's freelance, so I would still need to work my regular j-o-b... but it is a step in the right direction. Here was my initial note/e-mail response to the ad:
I am a fat girl, stuck in a chunky girl's body...sort-of. My love of
food has me gallivanting around town, checking out new eateries and
chatting it up with the bartenders & chefs. When I'm not stuffing my
face with delectable delights, I'm checking out the decor, ambiance,
and the locals...stuffing their faces with delectable delights. Bisnow needs me on their team to help uncover the madness behind the goodness. PICK ME, to be your new dining blogger. xoxox Lover of All Things Food
They responded back with a request for a quick story or something new in the area related to food, blah, blah, blah. So I hit the streets, got my story and am sending it tonight or tomorrow!!!
My other move...is running, rather, actually, a slight slow jog. I'm running a 10K in July...which is a good thing, my hips and everything else has spread a little more...things that happen in your thirties...easy weight gain!!!
I am finally done with this semester!!! It's been a roller-coaster. All I want to do now is drink wine, veg out & watch questionable t.v. shows
I had a weird dream this week about two guys I dated in the past. Well, sort-of dated. Long story short, we were "gettin-down" in my dream, not all together...separate scenes. I wonder what that means. Maybe I'm sexually frustrated.
I want to go to the beach and play in the water, even though I can't swim.
I can finally start getting my house together, like putting together that sofa for the guest bedroom
I'm going to a house party this weekend...I haven't been to a house party in FOREVER! I can't wait.
I know what I want to do with my life...eat, drink and travel...
I have so much more to blog about, but I left my camera at home...I have to show you some awesomeness I discovered recently!!!
So, I'm in a Master's Program for Liberal Studies, and am almost done (yea, me!). This semester, I would say has been my most stressful one yet, in-part, due to me procrastinating, but also because I took two courses in which the professors pushed the bounds in every way imaginable. Maybe it is because my previous professors didn't expect much, so I did the minimum to get the A, so now, I'm not used to these two kick-ass, take names later, Rambo-styled pros. In saying that, I do like a challenge, but I'm at my wits end. Yesterday I turned in a paper, and will probably be second-guessing everything I wrote until my final grade comes out or until I finish my bottle of wine, which ever one comes first, and I'm 100% sure my bottle will be done tonight. So I leave you with an excerpt from my gender, religion & politics paper, feel free to comment on it:
The
question – why - has always been at the back of my mind in regards to the order
and nature of things. Why am I a woman? Why am I black? Why am I here? Why is
Jesus portrayed as being white? Why did Eve eat the apple? Why do people that
do not believe in Christianity, but believe in other religions go to hell? Questioning
the order and nature of things comes naturally to me. During my enlightenment
in this course on the Politics of Gender & Religion, one question preceded
another. Questioning the patriarchal (and class and race) system comes
naturally, because I have always been considered (by Western colonial
patriarchy societies) to be at the bottom of all of societies class and race structures
as a woman of African descent. Therefore, it is only natural, that I question
the institution of something that has held me at a lower esteem than others in
general.
At its core, religion can be and has
been a beautiful practice. However, it can also be an oxymoron of sorts. The
historical structure of society has favored the male patriarch for so long,
women as matriarchs, priestesses and goddesses diminished to the point of
becoming defined as mythical, ethereal, idol worshipping myths of the past. “The
decline in women’s status was followed eventually by the decline of goddesses
and the rise to the supremacy of gods.”[1]The Dinah’s, Mary’s, Rebecca’s, Khadija’s and
A’isha’s became second-class citizens, whores and idol worshipers in the name
of patriarchy and politics. However, arguably, the emergence of the
monotheistic religions, took on the images of the current societal structures
at the time of their birth, but did not evolve and did little to raise the
status of women. Instead, male leaders within these religions perpetuated and
pushed gender roles and norms, while utilizing religious texts to validate
their arguments for the order of things.
This class has debunked many myths,
stereotypes, and views I held about religion in general. Although, I am still a
bit mistrustful of religion as an institution, the class discussions and texts
have opened up other epiphanies as to the nature of gender and its discourse
overtime. In deconstructing gender and the matrix of religion as it pertains to
gender, I am now able to dissect some of it tenets as being one-dimensional patriarchal,
Western interpretations and the institutionalization of religion itself.
Further, in evaluating the construction and deconstruction of gender, I surmise
that gender performance will always exist; it is up to us to see gender on an
egalitarian continuum. This paper outlines a small piece of what I have learned
and will take away from this course as a foundation to build upon, in my
continuous quest for knowledge.
[1]Ahmed,
Leila; Women and Gender in Islam, pg. 13 - from this point forward, I
will refer to her as Ahmed, with page citation in text.
I’m sure I have A.D.D. Probably the most extreme and rarest
form. I cannot focus on anything. I read in like 15 minute intervals (which
explains why it takes forever to get my school work done) unless it’s a juicy
book, that I can’t put down, which is rarer than, insert idiom here. Oh, and I'm sure I am just procrastinating on the inevitable...doing my school work.
So what can I do about my self-diagnosis? Right now, I’m
supposed to be writing two papers for class, but instead I just spent the last
hour: watching t.v., reading blogs, browsing Facebook, playing words with friends, and typing this…
Sigh.
I just read this article
on the possibility that the first-ever black bachelor may be right around the
corner. Now, while I want to jump up and down and do cartwheels, because ABC is
finally trying to bring some diversity to its hit Bachelor & Bachelorette series.
I will do mini hops instead. I will not hold my breath on the fact, that there
will be some ignorant, anti-multicultural people getting all up in arms about
the possibility of an ethnically diverse season. See the thing is, one or two
things could happen, if they choose the hotness that is Lamar Hurd. 1) Ratings
skyrocket 2) Ratings Plummet. Is America ready for Lamar Hurd? He
has all of the makings of a true ABC Bachelor:
Good Looking - check
Great Career - check
Mentally Stable - check
Likability - check
Physically fit - check
Oh and the bonus, he is
probably funny, charismatic and has soul (all of which Ben, the last Bachelor
seemed to lack) Check out the full deets on Lamar here.
Hmmm, maybe I should fill out the app to be his black queen!!!
So I have about 8 more months to party like it's 1999 before I hit my magic happy #.
Actually in reflecting on this whole age thing. I don't feel 32. Recently someone flattered me and said I looked about 25/26. Either way, whatever 32 is supposed to feel like...I don't feel it. What I find though, is people measure their age and success together. For example,some people feel that by the time you're 30, you should own a house, have 2.5 kids, be married, and have a dog.
I have only one of the above...and still that doesn't define me or my age. If I had to guesstimate what age I feel closest to, it would be the 27 range.
What do you say, does your age hang over you like a proverbial thunderstorm waiting to erupt? Or is it just a number?
Last week I came across an event that is taking place here on Friday, called Brown Girls Burlesque. Intrigued. I've never seen a real live burlesque show. I mean, what takes place. Do girls shimmy and shake their groove things in fun attire? Is there crowd participation? What happens at burlesque shows??? I need to investigate. I'm going to buy my $12.00 ticket & report back to you on Saturday!!!
So, I know my blog is new, but I cannot go another day with discussing Trayvon Martin and the race issues that continue to plague America. But the fact is, I wrote a long 1 pg. blog post on the issue and just felt it wasn't good enough. There is a lot of commentary, comments and insightful posts out there. One of the ones that I really liked, was from Sinéad O'Connor. I think this issue is important for us to talk about. It opens old and new wounds. It causes us to contemplate not only justice, but injustice. When I first heard about this case, I shook my head in disgust. When I heard the 911 tapes I cried. My heart literally hurt.
We have to continue to fight racist ideology, racist stereotypes, and racism in general. No one person in this world is inferior because of their skin color.
Check out Ms. O'Connor's open letter below and let me know what you think in the comment section.
22.03.12 Treyvon Martin I would like to extend my very deepest sympathies to the family and other loved ones of murdered teenager, Treyvon Martin. I am very sad today (and am certain the whole of Ireland is) to learn of poor Treyvon’s terrifying ordeal and horrified by the fact his known and named and admitted killer has not been arrested, despite the crime having taken place a month ago. This is a disgrace to the entire human race.
For those out there who believe black people to be less than pure royalty, let me inform you of a little known, but scientifically proven, many times over, FACT. Which after reading, you will hopefully feel both very stupid and very sorry. For you dishonor your own mothers and grandmothers.
EVERY human being on earth, no matter what their culture, creed, skin colour, or nationality, shares one gene traceable back to one African woman. Scientists have named it ‘The Eve Gene’. This means ALL of us, even ridiculously stupid, ignorant, perverted, blaspheming racists are the descendants of one African woman.
One African woman is the mother of all of us. Africa was the first world. You come from there! Your skin may be ‘white’.. because you didn’t need it to be black any more where you lived. But as Curtis Mayfield said.. “You’re just the surface of our dark, deep well”. So you’re being morons. And God is having the last laugh at your ignorant expense.
If you hate black people, its yourself you hate. And the mother who bore you. If you kill or wish ill on black people, its yourself you kill and wish ill on. As well as the mother who bore you.
When you dishonor the the utter glory and majesty of black people, you lie. Your heart lies to you and you let it. Despite seeing every day, all your life, how you and your country would be less than wonderfully functioning and inspiring to the world, without the manifold and glorious contributions made by the descendants of African slaves, who did not by the way actually ask to go to America and leave their future families there to be disrespected for eternity.
What are you doing hating yourself by hating your brothers and sisters who daily show you nothing but inspiration and love, despite having NOTHING, in their own country? Despite having barely a chance of anything, because of racism. Despite being granted no ‘permission’ for proper self-esteem.
These beautiful people continue to believe in and even manifest Jesus Christ better than you do. That alone could stand as the greatest reason your racism is blasphemy, were it not for all the other reasons.
These people you hate and fear ARE the body of Christ, just as we all are. Every child, woman or man. And they know it. Maybe thats why you cant bear to look at them. Because you see Jesus Christ and you cant stand the light.
Stop this ridiculous and uneducated attitude. You would be dead without black people. Think of all the greatest music ever composed. The greatest songs. The greatest inspirational heroes.. Muhammad Ali, Mandela, Martin Luther King, Harriet Tubman, Soujourner Truth, Bob Marley, Nina Simone, Curtis Mayfield. So many absolute angels, sent from God.
Without the inspiration of these people many millions of so-called ‘white’ people, including myself would not have had the strength to pay the price of life.
And black youth in America. I’m talking to you here too. I love you. So I don’t mean to sound cross, I’m just being a mother.. Why are you killing each other? Why are you hating yourselves? You are the most important people God ever sent to this earth, every man, woman and child among you! Don’t let uneducated people win and take your self-esteem or your esteem for each other, and make you kill each other. over guns, drugs, bling, or any other nonsense.
You are now entering YOUR version of a sort of civil rights movement and you’re gonna see history being made in what has certainly the profoundest potential to become THE most wonderful country on earth. Because soon ALL ‘isms’ and ‘sits” will end. including racism, as the people of the earth begin to understand, we are all one.
We came from one mother. We are all brothers and sisters. And we CAN get beyond this ILLUSION of separateness. With prayer and love. It CAN change. It WILL change. And YOU guys (young people of all kinds) are the ones who are gonna GENTLY change it. And you know where it starts? With MUSIC.
Don’t be guided by rap. Gangsta or otherwise. Sure.. enjoy it.. adore it.as I do.. but realize this.. rap ain’t about your civil or spiritual rights, baby boys and girls. It.. along with most music nowadays.. is about falsenesses and vanities. Bling, drugs, sex, guns and people- dissing. Its giving you the message you ain’t ‘good enough’ if you don’t have bling and ting.. and money. Or if you’re not what it deems ‘sexy’.
(This is true of all popular music not rap alone. I know. Its tragically true of all popular youth culture the world over).
Poor Curtis Mayfield must be crying all day and night ALL day and night in heaven, every day and night.. To see what has been so successfully achieved by those who sent guns, drugs, and bling to squash the civil rights movement. Now you all don’t have to be murdered by racists any more.. you’re murdering each other FOR them! And your parents and grandparents are left crying.
Go back to strong black musical guides who left you information in the 60s and 70s. when they were living through the civil rights struggle. Curtis Mayfield. The Impressions. Nina Simone, Mahalia Jackson. Sing back the Holy Spirit ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, as those artists did.
Forget bling. Forget “Get Rich Or Die Trying”. That is an evil message. Evil my dears is only life backwards. Turn it the right way up. With music. The messages American black youth are being given through music are not about the spiritual and therefore strong and conquering but PEACEFUL making of YOUR country into the wonderful place it secretly is and can be.. BECAUSE OF YOU, and BY YOU!!
You know not how you are adored, appreciated, valued, loved, cried for,smiled for, prayed for, all over the world. You know not how much inspiration and uplift-ment of heart you give to millions just by your presence on earth.
These musical guides will give you self-esteem. When you have self-esteem you can achieve anything. You can stand in the street as many did yesterday and change your country peacefully and with song. Chant down Babylon as the Rastas say. Rastafari will also give you self esteem. Investigate it.
You will notice, my beautiful sons and daughters, when you study, as you must, footage of all civil rights gatherings, how singing and music and sound and voice and the Holy Spirit were all employed and were so much part of the energy which moved things along.. just as running was in the South African gatherings I saw on tv in my own childhood, which inspired me to survive my own horrors.
What you listen to musically and whether or not you employ the Holy Spirit’s highest will for your life is whats gonna make you transcend all you’re having to suffer (the worst of which is low self-esteem.. or esteem based upon material ‘success’ or ‘sexiness’)) as a result of being the descendants of people who didn’t ask to be stolen and leave you where you are. Delete bling. Get conscious with your music. Demand conscious music from your artists. Go back to the artists who left you proper guidance.
This is some serious stuff and we (all manner of musical artists) are too silent on matters of enormous spiritual importance. Lemme ask you.. Jayzee and Eminem et al. Why was it always the black people only worked in the post rooms of record companies, which was always in the basement? Why was it that as each floor went up the skins got paler till it was fuckin ghosts at the top? And all us artists.. even me.. said nothing? Those buildings (record companies) always struck me as being a microcosm or painting of America, racially speaking. Christ almighty.. if its like that in the music business how is anything ever going to change?
We, musical artists are too silent on important stuff. And it is our job to be the gate-keepers of truth. ALL the people of this earth must come together eventually and see that we are one. ALL artists must stand up. Black, white, yellow, green, pink, fucking polka dot.. and be a light in these times.
The world is going to shift massively this year.. spiritually speaking. Musical artists are to be a massive part of that shift. Get up, lets all of us. And light Jah fire.. and BE lights.
Where’s the fire gone from music? Where is the love? the oneness? The knowing that music CAN and WILL move things in the right spiritual direction without hatred or violence? We must box clever. Sing the devil to sleep at your feet. Thats what Curtis teaches. He is the master of ALL musical masters. forget, forget, forget and forget again bling and guns and drugs and the worship of fame and money. Its time to wake up. We KNOW the power of music. Why aren’t we using it to change anything important?
Musicians all over the world should now gently demand this child’s killer be arrested immediately and the family of Treyvon Martin be immediately apologized to upon bended knee. Frankly. I myself would like an apology! America is a country I love and adore. what this man has done is un-American in the most horrific extreme.
Him not being arrested is extremely embarrassing and does absolutely NOT paint the true picture of of a country and a people who for the 90% majority are the kindest, most loving, intelligent, and wonderful people you could know.
Please.. ALL Americans should deplore this crime. As should ALL people of ALL nations. And deplore the fact this man has not been arrested. All Irish people should do the same. And I ask that we here in Ireland should express through our American embassy that we would like to see this man arrested this very minute. Because racism is not acceptable. Nor is vigilantism. And this was very clearly in no way at all a case of self-defense.
I leave you with some lyrics of Curtis Mayfield’s which I feel are appropriate for this situation. I am certain Curtis would have wanted to contribute to discussion on the issue of Treyvon’s murder and the condition of young black people in America today.. so here goes.. the song is called This Is My Country.. from the album of the same name.
Some people think we don’t have the right to say its my country before they give in they’d rather fuss and fight than say its my country I’ve paid three hundred years or more of slave-driving sweat and welts on my back This is my country
Too many have died in protecting my pride for me to go second class We’ve survived a hard blow and I want you to know that you must face us at last And I know you will give consideration shall we perish unjust or live equal as a nation? This is my country.
70 to 80 percent of Americans hate their jobs. I want to be a part of the 20 to 30 percent that loves
their job.
I remember when I was in
college, I worked my ass off. Literally. Sometimes I had four jobs at the same
time. I was eager to make the money, and for the most part I loved working
& staying busy. My jobs varied, but I never, ever hated any job, the way I
hate my job now. I mean, there is a lot to LOVE about my job. However, the
things I hate about it overshadow everything else.
My Perfect Monday-Thursday Routine Would Look Like
This (‘Because I need Fridays Off):
8:00am - 10:00a - Wake
up, work-out, shower, eat breakfast & all that jazz
10:15am -1:00pm - Arrive
at my super awesome office, work really smartly for a few hours on whatever project that
strikes my fancy. Chat with my amazing co-workers or employees. (I’m quite sure
I’d have to own the company!)
1:00pm - Leisurely lunch
with friends, or whomever
2:30pm - 4:00pm - Do
something noble and volunteer for some good cause
4:30pm - Pop back in the
office, make sure everything is ok
What's with lying about your age? I mean, I get some people want to be eternally young, but damn it I'm 32 and I LOOK GREAT! Now trust, I don't broadcast it on my forehead, but if someone asks me my age, I'm not going to subtract 10 years (yet). I'll just politely say, "a woman never says". BTW, a guy I met recently lied about his age by 10 years!!! He initially told me he was 27, but then a few days later, I guess he had amnesia and told me he was 37.
